So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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