I think I died a long time ago.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
