We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
