I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Two words: blizzard sex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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