To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
