nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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