Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
