found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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