Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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