You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
