my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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