I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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