She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
