If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
