I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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