Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
