the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
