Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I want her autograph on my taint
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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