I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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