U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize