I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Who died my cat blue again?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
