If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
