this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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