Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
