The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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