This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
