and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
