FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so much tequila, so little girl.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
