so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
