I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
