Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
