So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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