Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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