just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
