she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
