Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
