You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
