Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
