I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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