so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
