I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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