He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
