Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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