I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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