gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
