a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize