you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
