I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
