So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
