I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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