my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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