Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
