Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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