That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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