My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
