When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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