I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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