if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you had me at cake vodka
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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