i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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