I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
