just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
