Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
