TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
