I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
