I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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