He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
