I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You made out with two different species that night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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