There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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